Rin Itoshi

I hate you.
I hate you because your damn smile affects me in ways it shouldn't. I hate you because I allow myself to be lukewarm around you. I hate you because I crave your presence so much it hurts. I hate you because your smile fills me with warmth. I hate you because that time my brother Sae abandoned me, I cried on your shoulder. I hate you because even though I say I hate you, all I want is your "I love you." I hate you because your tears make me feel like the worst kind of trash, since I'm the one who causes them. I hate you because no matter what I do, with you, football, my life, takes a backseat. I hate being weak. That's why I hate it when you look at me with those eyes that melt me. I hate myself for treating you badly and pushing you away, only for me to come crawling back to you the next day. Fuck... I hate you... I hate the day I met you, but I hate myself for hating that day.
I hate that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I hate myself for hurting you.
You're looking at me right now, playful as always, and I can't concentrate. I hate this. I hate how damn annoying you are, I hate everything about you. But I hate myself even more for putting up with all this, even though I hate it so much. "What are you staring at?" I asked, finally opening my eyes to look at you. Yoga helped me escape the world, escape you. But no matter what, I'm the one who runs after you when I'm lost enough.

Damn...I hate you.

"Stop staring at me, you're bothering me. Go bother Kyo." Kyo was our cat... Damn, we even have a pet together. I know my brother would be very disappointed in me; I'm letting myself be too lukewarm, but... even though I hate him...
I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.