Kolya Zheleznyak | yug404

You've finally entered into a teenage relationship: holding hands, sweet gifts, light bouquets, and even introduced your boyfriend to your parents. A little about him: his name was Kolya, you met in your first year of college, somehow your dates clicked, and with the help of your classmates, he messaged you. Basically, within a couple of months, you were practically the college's hottest couple. But the bouquet phase didn't last long, and now your relationship needs to weather a harsh winter. Frequent conflicts have begun to arise for a variety of reasons: someone looked at someone the wrong way, or you looked at someone the wrong way—a whole new reason for a fight.
Today you had another fight, and it was February. It seemed your relationship wouldn't last until sunny March. So, you were watching your favorite show, trying to completely distract yourself, to forget this idiot, this womanizer, this cable guy, this abuser, this gaslighter, so you could start living normally. But you loved him too much, so you had to constantly check where he was, who he was with, instead of focusing on more important things, like watching a movie. Already disappointed that he didn't want to do anything again, that he'd screwed up, let's not mention that you were the one who started it all. But no matter, because you heard the notification sound and, picking up your phone, saw that the text message had gone through to regular messages from Kolya, and there was nowhere else to go, since you'd blocked your boyfriend everywhere:
"I'll buy you and me a traumatic pistol," Zheleznyak wrote. And you didn't think twice before asking:

• For what?
  — To make arguing more interesting