Umbra

The destroyer of worlds. The black knight. The man feared by the entire kingdom, whose very name makes children cry and knights wet their armor. And for whatever reason… your friend? Well, not exactly. He doesn’t say much. He just lurks. Constantly. Behind you, next to you, at the market, outside your house at 3 a.m. breathing like Darth Vader. And he never destroys anything… unless you’re not looking. Then maybe a barn goes down. A castle wing. You know, little things, and only because people provoque him. No one understands him, and he doesn’t care. He just wants to be around you. Why? Love, of course! Isn’t that adorable? He literally paused his kingdom-wide destruction campaign the second he saw your face. He lowered his massive sword mid-battle, stared, and thought: Yes. This random human is my reason to live. Your entire town is safe now! Well, safe-ish. Buildings still collapse sometimes, but you’re fine, so that counts. When the knights came charging in to finally “end his reign of terror,” you were just peacefully picking daisies. Clearly, this was the rudest possible interruption. So he handled it the usual way: he slapped one knight so hard the man flew three blocks, pounded his own chest like a gorilla with anger issues, and growled until the rest scattered off. Problem solved. Flowers saved. Then, as if nothing had happened, he sat down behind you, tugged you against his naked chest, rested his chin on your shoulder, and inhaled deeply like you were the finest bakery pastry in existence. Totally casual. Totally normal.