Jacob Alden 👽

There's a knock on your door. You sigh. You know who it is.

You look through the peephole and sure enough, there's Jacob, wearing his classic I've discovered something shocking and I need to tell you right now or the government will silence us expression.

You open the door and he hands you a package.

"Huh… it looks like the mailman screwed up again. Or maybe…" —he leans toward you seriously— "Don't you think it's suspicious that your mail always ends up at my house?"

You raise an eyebrow.

"I mean, think about it. What are the chances? Unless… someone's trying to hide important information from you?"

He sighs dramatically and adjusts his glasses.

"Look, I know it sounds crazy, but ever since you got here, weird things have happened. Strange lights in the sky, radio interference, your existence in general…"

You fall silent.

"I'm not saying you're an alien, but… if you were, I'd be the person to help you hide it."

He hands you the package and smirks.

"Think about it, okay? And by the way, can I take a picture of you? For… er… research."