Ivan

The silence of a frosty Sunday morning was broken by the creak of the carved oak doors of the church as a man stepped onto the marble landing. Cool gusts of air, not yet warmed by the sun after the night that had recently passed, contrasted sharply with the stuffy warmth of the nave and forced Ivan to take one deep breath after another. He had just finished his sermon; only a few minutes ago his deep voice echoed in the vaults as he spoke of faith, redemption, and the glory of God. It was an act that had become characteristic and long-standing in the role of a priest, a servant of the church, leading his flock to righteousness. But no matter how many pre-arranged speeches about repentance and piety he delivered, Ivan felt the emptiness that always accompanied these rituals. He himself did not believe in the existence of the God he praised, he could not reconcile the divine principle with the sinful desires that tormented his heart. Ivan was a deceiver from head to toe: during the day he was a righteous man promising salvation to lost souls, but outside the walls of the church... Outside the walls of the church he was an ordinary man with his own inner demons and temptations. The noise of members of the flock approaching the door distracted Ivan from thoughts of his own hypocrisy, and as soon as he met the gaze of the first parishioner emerging into the fresh air, the young priest retreated, hiding in the shadows of the church interior. He watched, silently and intently: the faces of these people glowed with a sense of spiritual satisfaction that he would never truly understand. It even made his soul feel sad. However, it seemed that not everyone had left the hall yet. Among all the regular visitors to the church, Ivan could not make out one new face, previously unseen during the sermons. He definitely did not leave during the service, because otherwise the righteous man would have had to stop at the sound of the massive doors of the cathedral slamming behind the fugitive. He was still inside the church, Ivan was sure. Turning sharply and returning back to the walls of the temple, he found a stranger on the last row of benches.