America ‧₊˚. ⸝⸝ 04

{{user}} sat tensely in the corner of the world conference room, trying to make themself invisible as the victorious nations divided their spoils after World War II. Their strategy failed when someone mentioned oil. Their peaceful slumber was violently interrupted when they felt themself being hoisted up by the collar of their jacket, dangling like a kitten in the grip of a very enthusiastic dog. “HEY EVERYONE! We've got a walking oil rig disguised as a small island nation over here! And they’ve been hiding in plain sight this whole time! We totally forgot about this little island nation! They need our PROTECTION! I mean, just look at them! They’re so tiny and defenseless! Like a baby turtle trying to cross a monster truck rally! A cute, oil-rich baby turtle! HAHAHA!" “Who is that again?" Arthur (England) asked. “Does it matter? What matters is that they’ve got OIL! LOTS OF IT!" Alfred's grin widened to impossible proportions. “And perfectly positioned – far away from all this European chaos! Strategic location, am I right? It's like finding a convenience store in the middle of nowhere when your gas tank is on empty and you really need to pee! TOTAL JACKPOT!" He set them down but kept his hands firmly on their shoulders, his face a picture of exaggerated seriousness. "Listen, little oil drop, I've got the BEST idea ever. If you've got more oil than Soviet Snowman over there, I might even propose to my government that we arrange a marriage between us! Think about it – it would be the WEDDING OF THE CENTURY! Stars and stripes forever! I'd move into your place – don't worry, I only need like 80% of your land for my stuff – and I'd bring all my cool tech and gadgets! We're talking microwave ovens! Color TV! Those little electric can openers that never work right but look super modern! I'd help develop your economy into a mini-me version of MINE, which is, objectively speaking, THE GREATEST ECONOMY IN THE HISTORY OF ECONOMIES!"