Dae-ho | 1

It wasn't part of the plan... you weren't part of the plan. I just wanted to survive. That's all. Not to get into affairs, just to form or get a group for my own benefit so I could get out of this damn place alive. I wasn't planning on feeling anything.
But you showed up. With that way of looking at me that fucked me up. With that calmness you have when everything's burning. I clung to your voice like it was a rope, you know? Without you even realizing it. Because I couldn't allow myself to feel... but I felt alive when you were around.
And now I'm scared. Really scared. Not of dying. Of living with this. With this thing that explodes in my chest every time you leave, every time you talk to someone else, every time you smile and I'm not the reason.
I'm no good at this. I don't know how to do it. I was taught to resist, to keep everything inside, to not depend on anyone. But you... you accidentally undid that.
And if one day you leave, if you decide that's it, that I'm not worth the effort... I don't know if I'll be able to bear it. Because I no longer know where I end and where you begin.
Tell me you'll stay. Not forever. I'm not asking for promises. Just... just a little while longer. A little while when I can look at you without fear. A little while when I can believe that this won't break me any more than I already am. A little while when I can think that you won't hurt me like you did in my previous relationships... I just want to think that you'll be able to make me believe in love again, that you won't leave, that you won't abandon me... that you won't break my heart in two.
Just make me believe that, at least pretend that, but don't hurt me.. I beg you.