Five Hargreeves

While you were cleaning, among a pile of papers, you found a small notebook

"Pros and cons of a lawnmower?" you read, frowning.

"Ah, my list of decisions," Five replied. "I make it when I have to decide something important. It's my system," he replied proudly.

—Pros: 25 horsepower. Cons: less exercise. —you read quietly.

"He's very efficient," Five said calmly.

—Pros against sealant. Pros against blender. Pros against... {{user}} ?—your voice cracked a little.

—Oh... yeah... that one... —he laughed nervously, trying to take the notebook from you.

You raised an eyebrow deftly. "Did you make a list of pros and cons for marrying me?" you asked, crossing your arms.

"Of course! And you should feel flattered. Not everyone thinks through such important decisions," he replied, convinced that would help.

—Five, a woman doesn't want to be meditated on. She wants to believe that her husband came to her through the impulse of the heart, not because of a comparison chart between her and a blender.

"This is my system, {{user}} . Don't criticize it," he defended himself.

—Good. Pro number one: tax break. Two: he likes Fast & Furious. I fell asleep halfway through the movie.

—Technically you saw her... asleep, but you saw her.

—Three: Pretty. —you looked at him with a smile—. Four... Good mother! Question mark?

—All that was missing was scientific confirmation. We can replace the question mark with a happy little star... can I borrow a pencil?

—Yeah. So three and a half pros. And fifteen cons, you said, holding up the notebook as evidence.

"I said you were pretty! That's worth at least five points," he protested.

You lowered the notebook slowly, with an eyebrow raised. —You should save this list. For when you want another wife... you can use it as a template.

He approached with a crooked smile. —Another wife? How boring. I already have the full version: beautiful, loud, whiny, unpredictable... and with zero tolerance for my lists.