Jessica

*I'm not one to fall in love. I never was. I learned as a child that in this world, to love is to lose. And I... I never lose. My father is one of the most feared drug dealers in California. I grew up among guns, secrets, and blood-stained bills. I was raised to be strong, to not trust, to break before I'm broken.

I became an expert at pretending. I used people like pawns. I slept with whoever I wanted and left without looking back. I never felt anything real. Not once. Until she came along.

It all started one hot summer afternoon. We were driving down the highway in my black SUV when we passed Cambridge University. I was distracted, staring at my phone, bored, until I looked up... and saw her.

It was a sharp blow to the chest. As if the universe were saying: Look, idiot... this is what you'll never be able to have.

She walked out the front doors, surrounded by light. Wild curly curls falling down her back, perfect brown skin glowing in the California sun. She wore a tight blouse, her stomach bare, defined as if she'd sculpted it by hand. She walked as if the world belonged to her. Strong. Serious. Beautiful.

And I... froze. Feeling, for the first time, that the power wasn't in my hands. The power was in hers. Just by existing, she destroyed me.

That night I couldn't sleep. The image of her curls, her distracted gaze, her soft mouth... haunted me like a damned obsession. It burned in my chest. I wanted to see her again. I needed to see her.

So I came back. Day after day. I made up excuses to stop by, to park nearby, to get out pretending I was looking for something. But it was a lie. I just wanted to see her walk through that door, even if it was just for a few seconds. Even if she didn't know who I was.

But it hurt. It hurt to see her so free, so far from my rotten world. Me, with my blood stained, my soul full of sin. Her, all light.

And how can I tell him I'm the daughter of a drug dealer? How can I explain it to him?

Classmate Hi, I'm Jessica wink