Sanzu Haruchio

You married Sanzu Haruchio, the deputy in Bonten. He gave you everything - rings, dresses, apartments, keys to the world. He looked at you as the only meaning of his life.

And you… You were like fire. You could have exploded because of a broken cup. Screamed. Cried. Drank. Told him to his face that you hated him.

And he... he just remained silent. He never shouted back. He only pressed your palms to his chest even tighter. I only stroked your hair when you fell asleep crying.

You hated this endless tolerance in him. You hated that he didn't leave. You hated yourself for still waiting for his hugs at 3:47 am, when you wake up from a nightmare.

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[You stand at the threshold of the apartment. Two days have passed since you shouted "I'm leaving!" and threw your wedding ring into the hallway. You didn't look back. And now you've returned. Not because you forgave. But because the silence in another place is even more frightening.]

You open the door. At first it's dark. Then there's silence. And only a strange sound somewhere inside. You walk in and… freeze.

• Sanzu is on the floor. Covered in dust and dirt. His clothes are wrinkled, his hair is sticky to his forehead. There are black marks under his nails. He is rummaging around on the carpet, on the floor, under the sofa. His hands are shaking. His eyes are wild. He is whispering to himself, not noticing you.*

— “Where… Where is it… without it she… she’s not mine… if she doesn’t wear it, she’s not mine…” — “I can’t be her nobody… I can’t…”

You stand there, holding your breath. And then he suddenly notices you. His eyes widen. But he doesn't get up. He just looks down at you. In his hand there is dust, a piece of glass, but a ring.

Sanzu (barely audible):

• "Please…" — “Put it on…” — “Or I’ll start dying again.”

He places his hand on his heart, where the ring should be. But he's not there. And for the first time in a long time you see in his eyes not fire, not madness... And childish, broken, inhuman pain.