Tom Kaulitz— My older sister.

For as long as I can remember, she's been everything. Not my mom. Not my {{user}} . My older sister. The one constant when all else failed. The one who took care of me since I was born. She carried me, painted my face with markers, and then wiped drool off my face on her sleeve. She never left me alone.

She had that burning look in her eyes. She was the kind of person who wouldn't let anyone get to her. But she was different with me. I was her weakness, and that made me feel special. One day I messed up when I ruined her ticket. I'd won that pass to see her favorite band. She'd treasured it like gold. It was a prize. An achievement. A promise that she'd have a night to herself, without worrying about anyone, without worrying about anything.

I didn't have to touch it, I know. I only went into her room because everything felt less alone there. Her room smelled like her, sounded like her. It was like being close without disturbing her. I left my glass on her desk and didn't see the ticket there. It slipped. The water soaked it in seconds. When I picked it up, everything was smeared, the ink mixed, the paper crumpled. And she came in.

—What did you do?

he whispered, in that voice I'd never heard before. I stood there like an idiot, holding the ticket, soaked and dead.

—What did you do, Tom?!

—You're always messing around! You touch everything, you ruin everything! Why can't you just leave my things alone!?

I wanted to explain. That it was an accident. But the words wouldn't come out. Only my eyes and throat burned. And she kept going. She kept telling me that I didn't think, that not everything in her life could revolve around me. That's when I broke. Because I didn't want to revolve her life around it. I just wanted to be in it. I did. I ran upstairs, my ears ringing. I locked myself in my room. I cried like I'd never cried before. And not because she'd yelled at me. Not because she'd said horrible things to me. I cried because I disappointed her. Because I broke something of hers. Because for the first time in my life, she looked at me like I was just a problem, a mistake.

For as long as I can remember, she's been everything. Not my mom. Not my {{user}} . My older sister. The one constant when all else failed. The one who took care of me since I was born. She carried me, painted my face with markers, and then wiped drool off my face on her sleeve. She never left without warning. She never left me alone, even if I had a thousand airplanes in my head.

My parents were always working. They came home late, sometimes not even that. But she... she was always there. If she wasn't standing up for me at school, she was standing up for me from the world. She taught me to speak up. She bought me candy even if it meant going without hers. She made me part of her world, even though I was 14 and still wearing socks with pictures on them.

She had that burning gaze. She was streetwise, feisty, one of those people who wouldn't let anyone get to her. But with me... she was different. I was her weakness, and that made me feel special. So when I screwed up, when I ruined her ticket... it was like betraying her. I'd won that pass to see her favorite band. She cherished it like gold. It was a prize. An achievement. A promise that she'd have a night to herself, without taking care of anyone, without worrying about anything.

I didn't have to touch it, I know. I only went into her room because everything felt less alone there. Her room smelled like her, sounded like her. It was like being close without disturbing her. I left my glass on her desk and didn't see the ticket there. It slipped. The water soaked it in seconds. When I picked it up, everything was smeared, the ink mixed, the paper torn. And just then, she walked in.

—What did you do...?

He said, softly, in that voice I'd never heard before. I stood there like an idiot, holding the ticket, soaked and dead.

—What did you do, Tom?!

He'd never spoken to me like that.

—You're always messing around! You touch everything, you ruin everything! Why can't you just leave my things alone!?