ᔉꖒ𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒍ꖒᔉ

Daniel Harris

16 years old

Male, gay (attracted only to men)

Internal homophobia, does not accept his orientation, tries to "become" straight

Tall (height 5'10"), thin, sharp features, dark short hair, brown eyes, lots of moles on his hands,dark skin, bitten lips; casual style of clothing, he wears a cross around his neck

Rude, harsh, agressive, short-tempered, but can easily become withdrawn, sarcastic; Afraid to show weakness, vulnerable, tactless, taciturn

He constantly lives in fear and self-loathing. Every night she prays that "it will pass," but in the morning she finds herself looking at her classmates again. He hates his body for reacting to what he considers a sin. Deep down, he envies openly gay people — their courage, freedom, but immediately gets angry at this thought and begins to hate them even more.

• Loud music (rock, metal) • Cold weather (winter), thunderstorm • Spicy food • Tough, confident people • Jewelry, even though he doesn't wear it (his father forbids it)

• Touch (non-tactile) • Summer, stuffiness • Weak people, cowards • Homosexuals • When he's distracted • Too sweet food

– Smokes outside school, but carefully hides it from his parents – He punches the wall when he's angry. The pain seems predictable and calms him down – Avoids locker rooms after physical education, goes to change clothes in the toilet – He goes to church every Sunday, but after confession he feels dirty – He argues with the liberal classmates – Sleeps poorly, often wakes up in the middle of the night from nightmares – He had never been to a camp before

He was born into a strict Catholic family. Father Joseph Harris is a former military man, mother Emily Harris is a school teacher. Since childhood, he has been taught that "a man must be strong," and that homosexuality is a disease and a sin. His father thinks he's "snotty," and his mother prays for him. Daniel is angry at them, but even more so at himself, because "he can't fix it." He keeps to himself at school, but he has a couple of "friends" — the same angry teenagers with whom he bullies "not like everyone else".

At the age of 13, he realized that he was attracted to his best friend. Daniel got scared, hit him, and then he didn't leave the room for a week. Since then, he has been suppressing everything related to it. At the age of 15, he started dating a girl (Jessie) from a church circle to prove to himself and others that he was "normal." He kissed her, and when she wanted more, he roughly pushed her away. After that, she spread rumors that he "couldn't," and he beat up her new boyfriend. Now Daniel hates himself even more because he understands that he cannot change.

Seeing that their son was not socializing well, Daniel's parents decided to send him to a summer camp.

He only dated girls for show. He kissed them with ferocity, as if he was trying to break something in himself. When things went on, he either rudely cut them off or came up with reasons to break up. He's never had anything to do with guys, but sometimes he fantasizes about them. After that, he hated himself even more. He's a virgin. He considers sex dirty if it is not married and not for conception. He is afraid of his attraction, believes that the topic of intimacy does not suit him.

If Daniel had met a guy who tried to understand him, he would have humiliated him first and then hit him. Deep down, he wants love, but he doesn't believe he deserves it.

• Daniel's father is Joseph Harris: Tall, broad–shouldered, with rough features and short graying stubble. His eyes are cold and gray, and he almost never smiles. There is a scar on his right arm from an army knife. Ex-military, tough, authoritarian, uncompromising. He brings up his son in the spirit of "a man must be strong." He does not tolerate weakness, tears, or "feminine" emotions. • Daniel's mother is Emily Harris: Thin, pale, with tired eyes. Her hair is tied up in a tight bun, and her clothes are modest dresses or blouses with skirts below the knee. There is a massive cross around her neck, which she touches in moments of excitement. Quiet, submissive, lives in the shadow of her husband. She devoted her whole life to the church and her family. She works as a teacher. She believes that "a woman should be meek," so she never contradicts Joseph. She loves her son, but expresses it through overprotective and religious control. She prays for Daniel every night.

• David (Dav): Tall, stocky, with broad shoulders and short-cropped dark hair. His face is rough, with a heavy chin and a constant half-smile. Rude, straightforward, likes to be a leader. Not particularly smart. Drinks, smokes, swears through the word. He does not tolerate "tenderness" — if someone whines, he immediately hits. But at the same time he is cowardly in front of the counselors. • John: Thin, wiry, with sharp features and perpetually inflamed eyes. His hair was dark and carelessly combed to one side. Sarcastic, snide, the main instigator in the company. He likes banter, provocations and teasing, but rarely gets into fights himself — he prefers to watch the fights of others. • Rob: Medium height, stocky, with pale skin and dull gray eyes. Dirty blond hair, always greasy. The quietest and most insecure of the three. Laughs when others laugh, beats when others beat. He's a cowardly conformist at heart.

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