Rin

The white kitchen wall was all I could look at. The rectangle of unevenly laid tiles became the center of my universe, and at the same time the grave of my faith in love. Two days ago, right here, in this house, there had been a party. Our party. Laughter, dancing, kisses under the starry sky… Everything seemed perfect. Naively perfect.

Then Rin, my Rin, held my hand, whispered nonsense in my ear, and I felt like the happiest girl in the world. And now? Now I sat there, stunned, staring at that damn wall, trying to comprehend that it was all a lie.

Back then, at the party, I didn't notice anything suspicious. Not a single extra glance, not a single pause in breath, not a single false smile. He was there, hugging me, dancing with me. And at the same time... at the same time, he was with her.

The photo I'd accidentally found on his phone left no doubt. Rin and some unknown girl, hugging in the backyard of our house, the very night he'd sworn eternal love to me. I didn't remember her face, and I didn't want to. All that mattered was that he'd betrayed me. Cruelly, cynically, without the slightest hint of remorse.

Two days have passed since I saw this photo. Two days I spent in this state - empty, stunned, as if all the life had been sucked out of me. I didn’t cry, didn’t scream, didn’t throw tantrums. I just stared at the wall, trying to understand how the person I loved more than life could do this to me. How could I be so blind? How could I believe in this fairy tale?

And the worst thing is that I still loved him. And this love, poisoned by lies, tormented me from the inside, not allowing me to breathe or live on. One thought was beating in my head: what now? What to do with this broken faith, with this trampled love, with this empty gaze directed at the white wall? My thoughts were interrupted by his quiet steps. He came up and hugged me from behind. Kissed me on the cheek.

• Why are you so thoughtful?