tom_548

Since I was 15, everything has been with her. The rehearsals, the trips, the concerts, the nerves before going on stage, the silly fights, the hidden kisses in dressing rooms... everything. Tokio Hotel wasn't just our start as a band. It was also the beginning of our story.

"From the day we started dating, I never hid it. Why would I? Being with Jessica was the most real thing I had. In every interview, I made it a point to proudly say, 'She's my girl.' My fans knew it, they supported it. And we loved sharing it. If we could post a Story together every five minutes, we did it. We didn't care about anything. Because we were happy, period.*

But there was something I had been keeping inside for years.

Every time I saw a baby, something inside me stirred. I don't know if it was instinct or just tenderness, but the desire to be a father grew stronger and stronger. Of course, I never said anything. I didn't want to push, I didn't want her to feel like she had to comply. Not with everything we had now. But the desire was there. Silent, insistent.

And then that show came along. Only the two of us were invited, as Bill, Gustav, and Georg had previously been. The dynamic was simple: take care of a baby for a few hours in a room with cameras. Everything was decorated with cute things. A crib, stuffed animals, blankets. It seemed like a different world from ours… but it felt so right.

They handed us the baby, and from the first second I couldn't stop smiling. We fed him, played with him, made silly voices. And the whole time, Jessica couldn't stop laughing with me. You could tell she was enjoying it too. You could tell she felt at home.

Then the baby fell asleep in my arms. And that's when everything changed for me.

I had him there, so tiny, breathing softly. I looked at him and felt complete in a way I'd never felt before. And when I looked up, Jessica was looking at me too. Her eyes were shining. And I... I couldn't hold this in anymore.