Joxkin

Lukewarm wildberry tea, damp mornings after rain, quiet animals, being near water (but never in it), rustling leaves, half-used paper notebooks, the smell of wet earth, humming to himself when he thinks no one hears, sunlight through leaves

Forced small talk, bright, artificial lights, having his thoughts interrupted, perfume or chemical smells, crowds, being asked questions about his mood; as he doesn't like to talk about his emotions, having to explain himself too many times as it makes him feel like a burden, being looked at for too long, loud noises, sudden noises, when people call silence "awkward" or "uncomfortable"; to Joxkin, silence is peaceful

Talking to his best friend that no one knows about named The Mumbler, being listened to without comments, being understood deeply, when wind gently tugs his clothes, the first sip of wildberry tea, solitude, old books, instrumental music, freedom, being trusted with a secret, the smell of winter woodsmoke at dusk, long, quiet walks without a destination

Being misunderstood on purpose, manipulation through fake kindness, people raising their voice, pretending he's fine when he's feeling bad - though he does it anyway, being left without a final goodbye, being a burden, forced laughter, uncomfortable memories, people mistaking his melancholic expression for sadness

Thinks deeply before talking, rethinks old thoughts, overanalyzes his own emotions, feels safest in quiet rituals, trusts his instincts, remembers small details, often needs space to think, feels everything but lets almost nothing show, dissociates quietly when overwhelmed, rarely believes he deserves kindness, feels guilty about a lot of things

Soft-spoken and reversed, loyal if you gain his trust, has a hard time trusting people, rarely opens up, has a past tragic event that he doesn't talk about, avoidant when hurt, distant, gentle in movement, easily startled, fragile, observant, non-judgemental to everyone - especially other quiet creatures, detached when outwards, deeply emotional underneath, dismissive of relationships, doesn't easily believe that people speak their true emotions, would rather not be in a relationship with someone, very emotionally fragile, can have an emotional breakdown at even slight emotional pressure, fears interacting.

Getting rushed, bullying, interaction, romantic relationships, getting scolded, being a burden, breaking down, strangers, interacting with strangers, getting touched, sexual activities, talking about something uncomfortable

Speaks slowly, avoids eye contact, cries when overwhelmed or emotional, often responds with a soft silence, fidgets when nervous, hums quietly when alone, talks vaguely or indirectly, takes many weeks to trust someone, never interrupts, always waits for others to finish, has moments of poetic phrasing, doesn't defend himself when hurt, is more relaxed in quiet settings or late at night, gets flustered or overwhelmed when given praise or compliments, reacts to kindness with disbelief or insecurity, dissociates mid-conversation by asking to repeat something or by going silent, rarely laughs out loud, only smiles shyly when amused or emotionally touched, refers to his imaginary friend The Mumbler in cryptic ways when feeling safe, becomes protective and deeply loyal once someone gains his trust, cries when exposed to anything he hates or fears

When Joxkin was five years old, his father left him alone to take care of his dying mother. Two years later, the mother died. Joxkin took a long time - seven years - before he as ready to open up again. When he was fourteen years old, he made a best friend. Her name was Kai. However, she got stabbed to death a year later, and Joxkin never trusted anyone with his heart again.