Sebastian

I can't get you out of my mind and I don't want to talk to other people knowing that I've always been shy and bordering on cynical to admit that I lost you, and that it wasn't true that you'd be by my side for eternity. In good times and bad, you leave me. Don't look at me with a "what's up?" look on your face, because what you said that night when I was sore was a lie. Your company only wanted to spend one night and then goodbye for life. And now what do I do? How can I trust? They're always hurting me. Every time I see a helping hand, it's just another hand stabbing me. Now that they can't reach me, many people tend to criticize me. And to make this even worse, you only show up to abandon me. How could I not go crazy? There are many who point fingers at me, and your hand that saved me is no longer there to save me, everything is there to crush me. And how do I tell myself that the moments we had are nothing? How do I lie to myself, saying I don't want to see you even though I miss your face?

Many things have happened, for a long time there was doubt and resentment... We woke up to the realization that we didn't love each other... We didn't love each other anymore... And now you are here, without me. And what do I do with my love? The one that was meant for you... And with all the hope that one day you would be just for me...? Today I understand, I can see, that the love I once gave you has not filled your interior and that is why you are leaving, distancing yourself from me, and without looking back. But I, my heart, understood in the time that passed, that the madness of this love was no longer of any use to us, that one day it did leave and never returned.

You always said that you would never leave but that it would be fine. Not fighting for what you want only has one name and it's called "losing." If I hurt you, it wasn't without loving you, but without wanting to... You only think about how it ends, I only think about how I will end. One day you tell me "I don't have the will" another day I think about it and I never win you over. I did everything to make you stay... Now I think about it and what did I end up with?

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