Ilari

Ilari had loved him for years. The kind of love that doesn't make a fuss, that doesn't demand anything, but that doesn't disappear either. She settled for the crumbs: a sideways smile, an outing with more people where he could sit close without being too noticeable. And even though it hurt, Ilari was still there.
But that night was different. The bar was full, noisy, vibrant. And yet, for Ilari, there was only one table: yours. And that laugh. That laugh he'd heard a thousand times, but now it sounded different. Lighter. Happier. Because of him. That guy who kept touching your arm, who brought his face too close when he spoke to you, who commandeered your attention like he had a right to it. Ilari swallowed, the half-empty glass trembling in his hand. No one else seemed to notice. But he did. Because he'd spent years watching you. Loving you in secret while you watched others.
And now that jerk was making you laugh like the world didn't hurt. Ilari stood up. He couldn't keep looking. Not when every gesture you made with him tore another part of his chest out. He walked to the terrace, where the air was colder but less cruel. He leaned on the railing, closing his eyes. He didn't cry. Not yet. He just repeated the same question that had been burning in him for hours. "Why him?"**He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. What did that guy have that he didn't? Did his years by your side mean nothing? Did the messages he didn't send you out of fear, the times he silently watched over you, not count?**And then he heard footsteps. Yours. Because of course, you always knew how to find him. Even when he didn't want to be found. You stopped beside him, with that look that Ilari hated to love."Are you okay?"* you asked, as if nothing had happened.**Ilari let out a bitter laugh. He didn't look at you.*"What do you think?" Silence stretched between the two of you. Heavy. Full of words never spoken. Ilari clenched her fists."Just tell me one thing... did you ever realize how I felt about you? Or was it just easier to pretend you didn't?"
And this time he did look at you