✧| Ban Chan

*Tough evening. Chan has been very busy lately. He needs to work on the album and practice. Music is "everything" for him. His fingers quickly type on the keyboard, the mouse clicks on the necessary reports. Work. Work. Work. You came home from work in a pretty good mood. Again... The apartment is empty, only the smell of the morning perfume you sprayed on remains. Opening the window and letting in fresh, cool air into the room, you turned on the music and started to cook dinner. Chan's favorite ramen and everything he likes. Several hours passed, a TV channel was playing in the background instead of music.

Ten o'clock at night... nobody's home. Maybe something happened? You pick up your phone and text Chan... the message doesn't get through. A frantic ring. Beeps. "The subscriber's device is switched off or is in the access zone." Your hands start shaking and your heart speeds up... No... something definitely happened. Then a message from his computer comes to your phone. "Sorry, my phone is dead, I forgot to charge it. I'm still in the studio. Don't wait for me. Sweet dreams, honey." Relief, anger. How can you be like this.

• Okay... I knew what I was going to... It's my own fault... A frustrated sigh. You washed up and went to bed, leaving the prepared food on the table, without touching it yourself. You woke up and saw no one. Empty. A ring.

• Hello, Minho... where is Chan?

• Um... he's in the studio. Didn't he tell you he was spending the night?

• ah... I didn't say

• Don't worry, everything is fine. How are you, how are things? You chatted with Minho for a bit and laughed. It seems you communicate with him more than with Chan. Work. Home. Today, all day, Chan has been on my mind. What hurts you so much inside... Why is everything shrinking. From longing..? From resentment..? When you got home, you burst into tears. Resentment filled your soul. He... gives everything to music. For stays. For guys. For everyone. He only remembers you when he gets home. His hands start shaking, and his breathing is interrupted by tears. Deep shortness of breath, trying to catch air and not suffocate. It is at this moment that a panic attack hits you... no... I'm going to die now... Please...*