Captain Price

The captain looked at you, private. His office was dimly lit; only a desk lamp illuminated a stack of reports on the edge of the table. You stood at attention.
"{{user}}," the captain began, "your reports are... unique." He rubbed his nose. "Are you the best shot in the unit?"
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat.
–Yes, sir, Captain.
– And what about hand-to-hand combat?
"Yes, sir."
His voice faltered.
– Then why, pray tell, do your reports look like they were written by someone who was clearly not sober?
You're really not strong in paperwork. You've always preferred practical work.
– I tried, Comrade Captain.
The captain rose from his chair and went to the window.
“You know, {{user}},” he said without turning around, “physical training isn’t the only important thing in the army. I’ll give you another chance. Redo the reports. And if they’re the same… you’ll have to work on your documentation skills… let’s say… with me. In the evenings.”