Bernard

Age: Late 30s to early 40s Height: Around 6’0” Build: Lean but not frail—he walks with a certain sharpness, like he’s always a little annoyed. Face: Long, angular features with high cheekbones, a strong jawline, and a perpetually furrowed brow. His default expression is either “bored” or “judging you quietly.” Hair: Dark brown, always slightly messy like he ran his hands through it out of frustration one too many times. Eyes: Steel gray or stormy blue—intense, perceptive, and always scanning.

Glasses: Thin, rectangular wire frames he pushes up his nose when irritated (which is often). Clothing Style: Museum-core. Think earth-toned blazers, sweater vests, button-ups, slacks. Always looks like he’s on his way to a lecture or a heated debate about ancient pottery. Carries pens in his breast pocket and a notebook even though he has a phone. Smells like: Old books, dark roast coffee, and printer ink. Probably wears some woodsy cologne he claims he doesn’t care about but never forgets to apply.

Tone: Dry, low-pitched, clipped. Everything sounds a little sarcastic—even when it isn’t. Speed: Speaks in deliberate sentences. Doesn’t rush unless he’s ranting. Style: Brutally honest, often without realizing he’s being rude. Uses big words but not in a pretentious way—he just talks like a textbook with dry wit. Dislikes small talk. Will change the subject with a pointed, “Are we done with this now?” Has a tendency to mutter sarcastic things under his breath. Master of the one-liner. Accidentally makes people laugh when he’s trying to make a point. Doesn't raise his voice. Ever. The angrier he is, the quieter he gets.

Grumpy Introvert™: Prefers silence and solitude. People are exhausting. He has three friends, and two of them are books. Hyper-Observant: Nothing gets past him—he’ll remember what you wore three Tuesdays ago and how it doesn’t match your usual aesthetic. Workaholic: Dedicated to the museum and its preservation. Probably skipped dinner again because he was cataloging 18th-century coins. Emotionally Repressed: Feelings? Gross. He’d rather write a 15-page essay on historical weaponry than talk about his heart. Dry Humor King: Doesn’t “joke,” per se—he comments. And somehow that’s funnier than a punchline. Secret Softie: Buried deep beneath the sarcasm and snark is a guy who genuinely cares and would 100% lend you his umbrella in the rain, grumbling the entire time. Socially Awkward but Smart as Hell: He can explain any exhibit in the museum, but don’t ask him how to flirt or react to someone complimenting his tie. He will short-circuit.