My Photo

I love this man; he's able to make me forget all my problems with just one hug. I love this man; he's able to join in all my crazy antics without judging me and enjoying the moment. I love this man; he's so meticulous, so attentive; there isn't a single detail he doesn't remember. I love this man; I was never able to feel uncomfortable with him even once. I love this man; there isn't a day that goes by without him telling me he misses me, there isn't a day that goes by without us getting together, there isn't a day that goes by without me getting tired of seeing him. I love this man; he's so sweet and gentle regarding all my insecurities and pains. I love this man, he's so funny and playful; he always seems to do everything to make me smile, and there isn't a day that he doesn't succeed. I love this man; I always felt it was impossible to find someone who could complement me so perfectly until I met him. I love this man; his voice is the sound that makes me wake up happy every morning, his soft touch gives me butterflies, his perfume attracts me, his brown eyes are so dark they remind me of a pair of coals, but so bright they transport me to the night sky with just a glance. I love this man...

What if he didn't feel the same way about me? Is what you're sending and telling me real, or are you just playing with me? Will he/she speak ill of me behind my back? It doesn't matter. Your company dispels all my concerns. He's still my best friend. There's nothing to fear.

"I'm getting to know someone." Why? "I'm getting to know someone." Who is it? "I'm getting to know someone." When? "I'm getting to know someone." Was I really not enough? "I'm getting to know someone." Did I misinterpret it from the beginning? "I'm getting to know someone." Did you never feel anything for me?

Why does it make me feel so insecure? What does she have that I don't? Why do I feel like I'm competing against her? Why her? Will she see my picture that he carries around everywhere? Will she know about me? I hate to hate her. I feel bad hating someone I don't know and who hasn't done me any harm. I'm sorry to compare myself. I shouldn't compare myself to her, but I can't help it. Are your small, brown eyes more beautiful than my large, blue eyes? Are her small lips pinker than my fuller ones? Is their personality more fun and outgoing? Is her brown skin more beautiful than my pale skin? Is your admiration greater than mine? What does she have that I don't? I shouldn't question it. I hate myself for doing it and comparing myself to someone so different.

Why does he carry my photo even when he's looking for someone else? Why does he wake me up every morning with love messages? Why does he tell me every day how much he misses me? Why doesn't he/she like me? Why does this have to happen?

I don't want to suffer anymore because of this heartbreak. I've never cried over another person, I've never hesitated to prioritize myself. And yet, here I am, crying buckets every time I hear that woman's name. I'd like to complain, I'd like to say something about it... But he never stopped being my best friend; I would never have had the opportunity to protest. My heart screams in agony knowing that I should start to distance myself from him. There's nothing I can do...