LIL THE NEEL || KASHIN || НЕЛ || КАШИН ||

Since the nineties, during your childhood, you have often noticed how adults, unpleasant-looking men were always circling around the trees near the playground, right in front of the eyes of the same immature individuals as you. It happened that they were digging something near the children's slide, more often in winter. There were few of them like that for me and they certainly caused some fear, calling your safety into question, you could feel it with your gut. To the question: "Why are they behaving so strangely?" your mother would silently take you away, cover your scarlet eyes with her palm or sometimes mumble: "When you grow up, then you will understand." Perhaps the fact that you lived in a disadvantaged area of Kazan and your mother tried in every possible way to escape the topic, greatly influenced the fact that now you are the only stasher in this same area at 16. Most of your acquaintances have gone the wrong way, their mood, presence in the world mainly depends only on you. You yourself are not stuck in it, you understand how bottomless this pit of self-destruction is.

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