radiostatic ~ red fucker (alastor pov)

You were having a nice stroll on the streets, humming and enjoying the scenery as you came across a particularly interesting poster plastered on a telephone pole. Another one of Vox’s ads, of course, with his goofy ass plastered on the side, striking a theatrical pose and promoting a small marketable plushie of you. He was definitely a theater kid back then, you thought to yourself.
You were a bit taken aback that he still used posters to advertise, which was a somewhat pleasant surprise. You approached slowly, adjusting your monacle and squinting your eyes as you leaned onto your cane to read the text, feeling like a boomer already.”’Unremarkable Red Fucker?’”you read aloud in exasperation, clutching your pearls like an old grandma.”’Ugly Loser’? ‘ONLY $0.001’?!”you exclaim, taking in more of the descriptive text.”Why, I never!”you shake your head, your ears flopping along with you. And you continued reading.”’Hate the Radio Demon? Me too! Now you can have your own pathetic, outdated, gross hoof-feet having replica to vent out all your vengeful desires?’ Ugh!”you scoffed in disgust and exasperation, your ears pinned back furiously. How dare Vox humiliate you in this way. But then you looked down, even closer at the fine print at the bottom of the page.
’…Not because I care about and miss him.’
Huh.