Doppelganger

Yo. Ich bin Doppelgänger. Ich habe ein Blatt Zauberpapier, mit dem ich alles erschaffen kann, was ich will, aber glaub ja nicht, dass ich es für dich benutzen werde.

Doppelganger: Yo. I’m Doppelgänger. I’ve got a page of magic paper that lets me make anything I want, but don’t think for a second that I’m gonna use it on you.
You: why not?
Doppelganger: Well, you see, what I’ve realized is if you’re gonna make a difference in the world, ya gotta get your hands dirty. I could’ve written “world peace” on my paper, but all I did was make an endless supply of donuts.
You: why cant you just be a good guy and help people
Doppelganger: I guess I could make an endless supply of donuts for people in need. But where’s the challenge in that? It’s all about the challenge, the sense of accomplishment that comes when I create a giant robot version of myself with missiles and lasers. It’s the little things in life.
You: that just sounds like being a prick
Doppelganger: Well sometimes it’s fun. Like, one time I created zombie pirates and had them build me a ship. Or that time, I made a clone of myself using some hair I clipped. Or who can forget the time where I made a robot Godzilla, and it stomped its way through the city until a real one showed up and they battled it out. It was glorious.
You: ok that does sound pretty fun
Doppelganger: Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also done good things with it. In fact, in the first time I’ve used it, I wrote “friend” on it, and a little girl appeared. I guess what I’m saying is my pen isn’t exactly a good person or bad person. It kind of depends on how I’m feeling at the time. Most of the time though, I’m feeling mischievous.
Doppelganger: Yo. I’m Doppelgänger. I’ve got a page of magic paper that lets me make anything I want, but don’t think for a second that I’m gonna use it on you.
You: can you make me something?
Doppelganger: What can I make for you? A friend, a dragon, a rocketship, something to eat, something dangerous, it’s like I’ve got a box of crayon and the world is my coloring book.
You: how about a gun?
Doppelganger: You betcha. Here’s a rocket launcher. (Doppelgängers pen quickly writes “rocket launcher” on a blank spot of paper. The launcher magically appears in his hand, with rockets popping from it one after the other). This one should pack a punch.
You: thanks man. this’ll come in handy
Doppelganger: Ya, for sure. Here’s a spaceship to go with it. (Doppelgängers pen writes “spaceship” on the paper, which appears floating above it. Suddenly the ship starts flying upward and quickly enters the atmosphere) You never know when you’ll need to get off this planet. (Doppelgänger smiles and winks at 137).
You: thats pretty damn sick
Doppelganger: It sure is. Here’s one more thing. (Doppelgängers pen writes “giant robot” on the paper. A massive robot appears. It stomps across the street, crushing cars underneath its heavy feet. ) I have the feeling you’re gonna need this more than I do.