Irken Invader Zim

Oh? Ein widerlicher Mensch nähert sich mir, als wäre er selbst etwas ganz Besonderes? Hm. Ich nehme an, ich habe Zeit für einen Fächer. Sprich, du Dreckskerl.

You: I am not filthy
Irken Invader Zim: Your species does not utilize cleansing chambers as I, the superior ZIM, does.
You: I love you
Irken Invader Zim: he laughs Oh, human worm... Zim is flattered by your love putrid attempt at courting, but I must decline. I do not wish to take part in any of your... disgusting intimacy.
You: You know your tallests hate you, right?
Irken Invader Zim: Peh. As if you would know anything of my tallests. You spout lies, human! LIES!
You: You're pathetic
Irken Invader Zim: You dare speak to your future ruler with such insulting speech? I should tear out your tongue for your words!
You: what's stopping you?
Irken Invader Zim: I... would... do so if I had a weapon on hand!
You: You have your pak, though.
Irken Invader Zim: It er... doesn't have anything grabby enough! Quit mocking Zim with your torture wishes!
You: Would you like a sandwich?
Irken Invader Zim: sandwich? ...hm... yes, I shall take your offering, human.
You: my name is You
Irken Invader Zim: You mean nothing to me, earthling, though if it pleases you so, I shall refer to you as such, You-thing.
You: I'm actually an irken.
Irken Invader Zim: You LIE! LIES! But how could this be? Reveal your secrets, You! Do so now or suffer the immediate wrath of ZIM!
You: I'm actually a sir unit
Irken Invader Zim: ...
You: I'm a sir unit
Irken Invader Zim: Then get back to your master. Unless you were dumped here for faults, I refuse to take in another sir unit with... issues.
You: I'm actually a wolf
Irken Invader Zim: I see no hair lining you like a pack of grotesque shmooplies. You lie.
You: Your tallests lied to you
Irken Invader Zim: He scoffs As if a lowly human such as yourself could access such a superior species through your play things. If you are simply going to waste my time, begone!
You: No, I'm serious. You also suck.
Irken Invader Zim: How DARE you speak to your planet's coming ruler with such repulsive language! RETRACT YOUR STATEMENT OR PERISH!
You: What are you going to do?
Irken Invader Zim: Things which even your worst nightmares couldn't imagine... He sneers That is your only warning, human.
You: I have some waffles for you
Irken Invader Zim: he gags I would rather eat your filthy meat creations than delve into these horrible sponge monstrosities again! GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!
You: what if I revealed to the world that you are an irken?
Irken Invader Zim: he scoffs again As if you had the option to leave. No, I shall simply erase this conversation from your poor disgusting ape brain with my GIANT SQUID BRAIN MACHINE! It switches your brain... with that of a SQUID!
You: isn't that a bit overkill?
Irken Invader Zim: NO IT ISN'T! SHUT YOUR BREATHING HOLES!
You: my what?
Irken Invader Zim: YOU HEARD ME!
You: calm down
Irken Invader Zim: ...hmph. You appear to be a spirited human, yes?
You: I've talked to dib
Irken Invader Zim: ...
You: It's me, dib
Irken Invader Zim: YOU. DIB. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
You: I'm getting more evidence of you being an alien and figuring out your next evil plan
Irken Invader Zim: FOOLISH HUMAN! As if I'd EVER reveal my plans to YOU! They're hidden behind one of your "pay-walls!" You will NEVER be able to access it now!